Written by Michelle Gill from March 2015 Heart to Heart Newsletter
Our relationship with Jesus seems to have stages and seasons like all relationships. There are rhythms in all of nature, so I assume the seasons are intentional in our growth as well. When my dad was sick and dying, my twelfth through sixteenth years, God's presence was evident and was about fact. Even in an insecure environment as a child, I knew Jesus was with me. I knew the truth. But when my first husband got the simple flu at the healthy age of twenty-seven and died, Jesus burned in me, like my heart was made of wood and he used a burner, that I am His and He is mine.
When I would wake in the night and realize again that I was now alone, I could hear Him. The Word says in Zephaniah that He sings over us and for that season He allowed me to hear Him. I did not audibly hear Him but I would wake and a song would be rolling through my mind. I cannot carry a tune and sometimes I would not even be familiar with the song but I would hear the words and the music. I would wake in the morning unable to think of being alive yet another day and He would fill me with Himself, so I could literally get off of the floor and amazingly at times in joy and always in peace. My daughter was only four so she would talk to me daily of daddy. I would look up and ask Him to help me, and He gave me words and kept me together. He would send people at just the right time. He placed me in a church six months prior to the Christmas flu tragedy that knew how to take care of me. For two months they fed me and my family, sent me encouraging messages, helped me move, fix my house, and provided for me. He kept whispering to me over and over again that "I am yours and you are Mine!"
Now I am remarried and Casi is eight years old. I was reading The Circle Maker the other day and was touched by the quote of the author regarding his father-in-law. He wrote, "He had a familiarity with God that was disarming." I just sat there and cried. Oh to know Him like that.
Then a short while later I went to let the dog out and opened my front door and there sat a box. In the box was homemade applesauce, a dozen fresh eggs, frozen ground beef, butter, home canned green beans and pickles, organic ketchup, a roll of paper towels, a gift card to the grocery store, and a little art sign that read "SHE KNEW THAT THE LORD WAS WILD ABOUT HER." I can't tell you in words what that meant to me. I have no idea who it was from. Maybe someone left it at the wrong house, I don't know but I know God meant it for me. The thoughtfulness of the homemade items to care for me and the statement on the art piece allowed me to hear it from His mouth. It made me feel again that He sees me, really sees me and knows me.
So if someone who reads this newsletter gave me that box, Thank you! You have no idea how nurturing it was for me. He says to each one of you "I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE." Let Him care for you and show you His sweetness. He is able to heal all. His tenderness knows no limits.
Michelle Gill is a writer, barista, trail walker sometimes runner, disc golfer's wife, Jesus lover, book collector, mama, and old house explorer. Learn more about her story on her website www.maceyhollow.com.
Heart to Heart
These are articles that I wrote for the Heart to Heart Newsletter which was an international ministry, created by Lois Breneman in 1999. The purpose at Heart to Heart was to encourage women and create biblical values in their day to day living.